Going Grey Gracefully
“I think that gray hair illustrates self-confidence and truthfulness-saying to anyone in the room, ‘I am precisely who I say I am; I have lots of experience that would be beneficial to you. Interested? ‘Gray hair also makes us memorable. People I’ve met once can remember me in a crowd because I am often the only woman with hair my color in the room.”-Anne Kreamer
The recent wave of criticism on social media about Sarah Jessica Parker going grey and ‘looking old’ prompted me to research women and grey hair.
The internet went crazy, and the ‘misogynistic comments ‘about the 56-year-old actress were everywhere when photos of her dining with Andy Cohen (who has a full head of grey hair, and that’s OK) emerged.
Says Sarah Jessica Parker in her December Vogue Cover Story, “It almost feels as if people don’t want us to be perfectly OK with where we are as if they almost enjoy us being pained by who we are today, whether we choose to age naturally and not look perfect or whether you do something if that makes you feel better.”
I could not agree more with her statement. Are we supposed to stop aging? Disappear? Become invisible?
In our fifth decade, we must thank SJP for representing our age group on TV and social media.
Naturally, Andy Cohen, among other celebrities, defended Parker referring to her upcoming ‘Sex and the City’ revival, ‘And Just Like That’…saying it will be ‘quite revolutionary’ in showing ‘beautiful women’ living ‘vibrantly’ in their 50s, which he thinks is a ‘wonderful message.’
From a female perspective, model Paulina Porizkova, also 56, added, “I’ve seen photos of SJP in the media, and every time I think ‘oh, thank you and thank you.!’ Someone who is my age who looks like me.” “I see my lines and droops and silver mirrored, and I love it.”
Additionally, Patrick King, an original Sex and the City producer who has returned in an executive role for the revival And Just Like That…, echoed similar sentiments regarding the ‘Misogynistic Chatter’ SJP was referring to. Says King, “When we announced AJLT…, there were a lot of positive reactions, but one bitchy response online was people sharing pictures of the Golden Girls. And I was like, “Wow, so it’s either you’re 35, or you’re retired and living in Florida.! “There’s a missing chapter.”
Again, we should be thankful to SJP and the revival of Sex and the City for many reasons. In her article Women Are Leaning in and Loving Their Gray Hair Like Never Before, Rohina Katoch Sehra states, “In films and on TV, ageist casting is rife-silver-haired women are either gummy grannies or washed-out women set up for a second sexual wind. Occasionally they are flat, sexless, oracular, or quasi-authority figures like M (Dame Judi Dench in the James Bond films) and Nova Prime (Glenn Close in “Guardians of the Galaxy”), placed firmly outside the humanizing influences of family and friendships and defined exclusively by their solitariness.”
It’s about time to change this norm, and And Just Like That…seems to me like the perfect first step. Of course, social media will always be judgmental, but let them talk.
So, what’s with women and grey hair?
In this piece, I will explore the meaning of going grey as a woman in today’s society how this natural part of aging is perceived. The concept is more complex than simply stopping dying our hair. This post will shed some light on what it means for many women to rock grey strands.
I will also include tips to maintain and rock this ‘trendy’ phenomenon and state the advantages and disadvantages of going natural. Keep reading for information, advice, and inspiration, ladies!
When it comes to going grey for women, there are typically two opposite opinions: those who embrace it and those who avoid it like the plague. I think there is always going to be that way. I, for instance, am one of the ‘lucky ones’ because I am not going grey yet, although I am in my 50s. Frankly, I wouldn’t know what I would do was I one of those women who go grey prematurely.
Like most things, it’s a personal choice. A rule of thumb is that if you don’t feel comfortable ‘going natural,’ or if it affects your emotional health and your self-esteem, by all means, keep dying your hair. It’s about feeling beautiful and confident. For some women, it’s a simple shift in perspective. However, I can absolutely understand the ones who keep their brunette, blonde, or whatever color it is they dye their hair.
What causes your hair to go grey?
Like wrinkles, grey hairs are a visible sign of aging, and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s a part of life.
Grey hair is a combination of normally pigmented hairs interspersed with white ones. Hair turns white when the pigmentation cells responsible for color (melanin) stop being produced.
Is it possible to slow down hair greying?
Grey hair is an inherited trait. Nutritional and hormonal factors can affect hair color and stress, but the predisposition to go grey earlier in life is genetic. That’s the reason why some people start to grey in their 20s, while others won’t notice a significant change in color until their 50s.
To dye or not to dye
Again, this is a personal decision, and only you know whether to allow your natural greys to show or cover hem to look your best. It’s all about being the best version of ourselves. Hair color in women is more complex than many people think.
According to a study, women who let their hair grow naturally are viewed as more incompetent than women who dye their hair. Researchers found that women making the transition say people, including family, and friends, often shamed them and accused them of ‘letting themselves go.’
Conversely, women wanting to embrace their grey hair say the change was made easier when supported by their loved ones.
Researchers say the study exposes the ‘impossible’ beauty standards women are held to, which only become more unattainable with age.
Says Vanessa Cecil, lead author and Ph.D. candidate of the University of Exeter, “We are all constrained by society’s norms and expectations when it comes to appearance, but expectations are more rigorous for women-especially older women.”
The ‘old woman’ is an undesirable character in Western societies, being seen as incompetent or unpleasant-if she is seen at all. In Western cultures is still not OK to look old. Going back to SJP comment, does society want us to disappear, to become invisible?
To be clear, it’s important to understand why more women are choosing natural grey hair now.
Says Cecil, “In the face of impossible standards to be natural and remain youthful forever, these women are doing what they can to retain status. Although many reported negative consequences such as being ignored or treated as less competent, they also felt happier to be ‘flying my natural flag.’
“We also found that women chose to compensate for going grey by using other beauty practices-so embracing grey isn’t the same as embracing looking old.,” states Vanessa Cecil.
Judging by the last quotes, these women are starting to change the perception of women and grey hair that Western societies have had in recent history. And we are all for it!
How to rock grey hair: Advantages of going natural
There is a time in every woman’s life when monthly hair dye treatments are necessary for hair color survival.
You are beautiful because of who you are, not because of the color or shade of your hair. There is something very scintillating about a mature woman with silver hair. I assure you, it’s possible to feel sexy and confident while embracing your natural grey hair.
Here are some reasons you should take a break from dying your hair and going natural.
- Money and time
Let’s face it, dying your hair is expensive. The procedure needs to be repeated every few weeks to maintain the tint. Imagine how many other ways you could use that money, from saving it for your dream trip to adding money to your retirement account.
The hair drying procedure takes up a long time, between 2 to 5 hours. This is very valuable time you can spend doing something productive, or you could simply use that extra time to rest.
Additionally, the synthetic chemicals used in hair dye can damage your hair. This is where the thinning and breakage come from.
- Grey hair is sexy
Grey can now be added to hair as part of the ‘ombre’ trend and is worn everywhere. Hollywood big stars have taken their gray hair to the masses: Helen Mirren, Jaime Lee Curtis, Jane Fonda, and now Sarah Jessica Parker are rocking their grey hair with sensuality and confidence.
Grey hair portrays sophistication and maturity. There is also a particular mystery about grey hair.
It’s time to consider women with grey hair as sexy as men.
- Grey hair is empowering
Your hair, your power. Your grey hair is your power, and repressing it only robs you of the opportunity of unlocking that power.
Who says grey hair can’t be flattering? All-natural has never been more beautiful than it is right now. And this natural beauty trend applies to everything from food to makeup to hair.
While grey hair was previously a negative side effect of the aging process, it has become a cornerstone of female empowerment. The silver strands in your hair indicate a wholesome and fulfilling life.
Women love to feel comfortable. They love to feel in control within their comfort zones. Your natural hair should be your comfort zone.
- Grey hair is in
Women of all ages are embracing the grey hair trend, whether it be completely natural or the result of a good dye job. Silver hair has become modern, chic, and fashion-forward. The hues in this hair color highlight your face’s high points, which instantly brightens your complexion and emphasizes your natural beauty.
- Grey hair is liberating and leaves room for Self-Expression
You can be beautiful, elegant, and anything you want to be, but most importantly, you can be yourself in your natural silver hair.
Your hair, like your clothes, says a lot about your personality, and that’s why we love the way undertones can spice up your grey locks.
The new hair hue can give you a different, vibrant outlook, giving you more confidence than ever. Going natural also takes off the pressure of aging.
A general guide to caring for grey hair while rocking it
Find a great stylist
Ask them for guidance and make sure they have experience with transitioning to grey hair. Ask about lightening highlights to help the blending process. This will eliminate the grown-out, heavy line of demarcation.
Smooth the transition
It’s important to keep coloring until those silvery strands make up about 70 percent of your hair. It’s the salt-and-pepper stages that make hair look dull and old.
Stay sharp
Once your hair is bleached, get a modern cut with clean edges. If you don’t want to wait for the greys to grow out, you can start by getting a chop. Sometimes there are years and years of colon on the hair; starting fresh can be significant. A great bob, for instance, is very chic.
Try a purple shampoo
The purple shampoo tones and deeps the yellow brassiness from creeping in. The brighter and prettier your grey is, the easier the grow-out process.
Fight the frizz
The one downside to grey hair is that it tends to be coarse and frizzy, so conditioner should be your best friend.
Shiny hair happens when light reflects from it. On grey hair, always use a clear, colorless oil or serum.
Take a supplement
If you have dyed hair, a hair growth supplement could help new greys reveal themselves faster while ensuring they are healthy and ready for their closeup.
Step up your makeup game
You want to look like your silver hair is a choice, not that you let yourself go. You will accent your hair when you use the right makeup.
Update your wardrobe
To really rock the silver locks, you must be current but age-appropriate. Consider adding some ‘edgy’ pieces to your wardrobe-a leather anything, a pair of great boots, or graphic T-shirts, among others.
Last thoughts
Grey hair in men is typically appreciated it (think George Clooney), while that in women is seen as ‘old.’ Regardless of the societal induced stereotypes about grey-haired women, you can still be as sexy and stylish as you want to be in it.
All you need to do is style your natural locks however it fits you and prepare to be complimented.
It doesn’t matter what color your hair is. Joy comes from within, so the work must be internal.
The bottom line, figure out who you are, what you truly value, your unique purpose, what gives you inner peace, and don’t compare yourself to others.
Growing out grey hair can be challenging but also rewarding, empowering, and liberating.