Do not be afraid of spending time by yourself. Find meaning or not find meaning but “steal” some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you anti-social or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be. Albert Camus
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This is a topic I care for deeply because not that long ago, I could not be happy being with myself. In other words, I “hated” my company, and that is not healthy.
Back then, I didn’t know how to word that emptiness, that void. It took me many years of self-analyzing, self-reflection, and several psychology-based books and articles to figure it out. Although I am not going to get into detail about my personal experience, I want to shed light on how being alone with yourself is the most liberating thing ever. Read on!
About the Art of Being Alone
Finding solitude is an art. I believe that being with yourself (and enjoying it) is as important and as beneficial as is being in the company of others.
Some people equate solitude with loneliness, but they are two very different concepts.
This piece will explore the practice of being with oneself. It will explain the mental benefits of such a practice. The present article will also include tips to enjoy solitude without feeling lonely and the positive consequences that come when we embrace spending time alone.
In her article Embracing solitude published in Noisly, author Sabine states, “We live in an age where it has never been easier to connect with others, yet it is a time where we have never been further away from the relationship we have with ourselves. Constant productivity makes us lose ourselves in the crowd: we only see what everybody else does, what everybody else thinks, what everybody else likes.” Ask yourself, are all those things what I like? Is this the way I think? Is this what I do?
We need to remember that being alone is not being lonely; it is being with yourself, and that’s good company.
Investing mindful, quality time into doing something you love has multiple benefits for your mental health. It keeps you focused, which reduces anxiety, keeps your brain energized, and helps to keep you happy.
In the current society and way of living, we constantly crave more. If we eat at a restaurant or drink at a bar, we also need to be texting our friends or family and sharing pictures. It’s like we are doing everything to avoid just being in the moment like it’s never enough.
We can not explore and discover who we are if we don’t spend time with ourselves. If we don’t just be and think, we can not know what we want, what we like, what we find pleasant, and what we dislike.
Quoting Sabine once more, “Being in solitude is the state of being alone (not lonely) and which allows us to fully focus on ourselves and our surroundings. This solitude allows us to self-reflect, to be creative, to think.”
Whether you have already figured out how to enjoy your solitude-and are very happy about it- or feel anxious about being by yourself, there are ways to learn, and it is never too late. Change takes courage, strength, and a lot of willpower. The second half of this piece will discuss what happens once we embrace solitude and the most important reasons you should spend time alone.
What happens if you embrace solitude?
Being alone does not need to impact you negatively. On the contrary, spending time with oneself has proven to be precisely the opposite; it will help you think and feel positive. Below, find what the consequences of enjoying time with yourself are.
- Self-discovery and self-awareness. Solitude will allow us to discover who we really are. When we are alone is when we follow our instincts and chase the things that fuel our curiosity.
- Self-care. Solitude is a great way to take care of oneself and to treat yourself well. We women often put others and their needs first, forgetting ourselves in the process. Always remember, who takes care of the caretaker?
- Creative thinking. When we are alone, it gives us a chance to let our minds wander, which ultimately helps us fuel our creative thinking. Using our creativity helps us relax and ease our minds.
- Observation. When we are with others, we naturally shift our focus to them. Instead, we open our senses when we are by ourselves and therefore experience our surroundings more fully. We will notice things that otherwise we wouldn’t notice.
- Creation instead of reaction. We live in a time where we are busy all the time. We are constantly reacting to things, from our Instagram feed to the newest Netflix show. There is never a blank space where we could create something on our own, instead of reacting to something. Solitude could be that blank space.
Tips to enjoy solitude without feeling lonely
- Find companionship in your passion. Whether it is art, playing guitar, writing, or baking pies, being with yourself is an excellent opportunity to connect to that passion. For me is writing, reading, or finding new venues to do my walks; I enjoy those things immensely.
- Meditate. The best way to do it is alone. Meditation has been proven to be a great way to combat stress, among other physical and mental benefits.
- Design a plan. When you are alone, sit down, grab a pen, and write down a plan of action for you to mix things up a bit.
- Make a list of everything for which you are grateful. They don’t have to be great things; little things count as much. For a boost, after writing them down, say them out loud.
Know that being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. Loneliness is a feeling. There are many things you can focus your mind and energy on without people being around.
The bottom line
Important reasons you should spend more time in your company
- It reboots your brain and helps you to unwind.
- It helps you to improve concentration and increase productivity.
- It allows you to discover yourself and find your own voice. This is by far my favorite one.
- Provides time for you to think deeply.
- It helps you work through problems more effectively.
- It can enhance the quality of your relationships with others.
In short, we can all agree that spending time with others, particularly in good, quality company can be great for our general wellbeing. Yet, being with yourself is as good, especially for our mental health.
With our busy lives, it might be tricky to find more time to be alone. But there are strategies you can use to find that blank space: disconnect, get up earlier or go to bed earlier, schedule solitude, or use your lunchtime. It doesn’t matter how you do it, but do it, find that moment daily to be with yourself. You will not regret it.