Nothing is a bigger turn-on to a woman in her 50’s than a man that makes her feel like she’s the best thing that ever happened to him.
Dating in midlife isn’t always easy. When we are younger, we are primarily interested in finding attractive people who can support us and treat us like a queen. Time passes, and we mature, become wiser, and figure out what we really want; life is not always as we dreamed it when we were little girls.
It’s important to know the qualities you look for in a man, and once you become older, you won’t settle for second best. Mid-life is a time to live again, to live to the fullest. As women in our fifth decade, we want to find true companionship without drama.
I have posted a couple of pieces about dating in your 50’s, as well as one post about what men in their 50s want in a woman. This post will cover information about what women our age would like in a man or a relationship. I will include a list of the common traits women in their 50s look for when it comes to dating. Finally, I will be presenting some of the reasons why men should be dating women like us.
Believe it or not, we mid-life women have a lot more in common than we think; this fact also applies to our dating expectations.
When you are over 50, the assumption is that your wants and needs change and mature, but when it comes to dating and relationships, is this really accurate?
By age 50, you have had several relationships already, good and bad; you’ve learned what you do and don’t like in a partner, and if you are lucky, you have realized what’s important to you and what it takes to make you happy in a relationship.
Just like their male counterparts, women value a loving partner as they get older.
What women want in a man doesn’t change drastically with age. Women of all ages enjoy an honest, kind, funny man who knows how to have a good time. As women get older, they look for a similar type of man they were looking for when they were in their 30’s. But now, in their 50’s, they put more emphasis on a more loving, more gentlemanly, someone with whom they can travel and enjoy life.
We now want to experience everything life has to offer. We want to have fun, laugh, and live fully with the right companionship. Women in the fifth decade of their lives know who they are and what they are looking for. They will be someone who will have realistic expectations when it comes to dating or relationships. Women this age will also be accepting and understanding of who the men they choose to date are at this time of their lives.
Things men should know about women in their 50’s
I think women in the 50 plus group have it harder than their male counterparts. There is a difference between what is available for men and women. For single men, the options are plentiful; single men in their 50’s can date women in their 30’s and 40’s (I know some women my age can and do the same thing, but I believe that for men, the pool is bigger) if they are so inclined.
There are many women my age available to date. The chances are good that these women have older kids who are well on their way and don’t really want your input on their children. They know who they are, and they are looking for pure companionship.
Dating women in their 50’s compared to women in their 20’s is a completely different experience. They know what to expect. Dating a woman this age means you are dating someone who is done with repeating the same relationship mistakes and is ready to find her grown-up love story.
Reasons why men-of any age- should date women 50 and older
- She knows what she wants.
That’s why she is better at choosing a compatible partner than she ever was in her 20’s, 30’s or 40’s. She is mature, so she can easily communicate her wants clearly and efficiently.
- She is sexy as hell.
Look at Halle Berry, Elle Macpherson, Cindy Crawford, Elizabeth Hurley, Naomi Campbell, or Michelle Pfeiffer, to name a few. A woman this age knows the importance of taking care of herself. Personally, I love this decade because I feel more confident than I ever have.
- She doesn’t need you.
A woman in her 50’s has learned that she doesn’t need a relationship to be happy. She has a rich life, including close friends, family, and plenty of hobbies and interests. She might want you, but she doesn’t need you. Most likely, she is highly independent and very happy about it.
- She is comfortable in her own skin (and still looks stunning in a bikini).
She is more content with herself than in her younger years. More likely, she has already gone through the difficult inner work on herself to get to that magical place of inner peace and joy.
- She is happier than ever.
I can confirm this one. No more unnecessary anxiety or insecurities, and no clinginess anymore. A woman in her 50’s appreciates life for all that it is and is committed to making the most out of the time she has. She is not worried about their biological clock. She is free to enjoy getting to know you and letting your relationship flow easily.
- She can make conversation.
Expect a smooth, dynamic conversation sprinkled with witty jokes and life anecdotes that will make your day. And she wants to make you the center of attention.
- She turns the bedroom into an adventure.
In her book Sex and the Seasoned Woman, Gail Sheehy wrote: “The middle years, between 50 and 65, constitute the apex of adult life…for women, the passage to be made is from pleasing to mastery.” Now, that’s something!
- She is way over her exes.
And she doesn’t want to talk about them, nor should you. She has the intention to move forward with her life, and perhaps, with you in it. No more focusing on baggage or negativity.
Additional tips for men dating 50+ women
- Women don’t like it when a man tries to sell himself to her by listing off all of his great qualities.
- Regardless of what your situation is, please don’t rush anything. Some men don’t want to invest the time it takes getting to know you. If you don’t sleep with them fast enough, they get frustrated and lose interest. Talk about immaturity!
- Please don’t bring your anger to the equation. We, midlife women, don’t like the emotional baggage you carry around everywhere you go. Men in their 50’s can be cynical, especially if they were in a bad marriage. They talk badly about their ex-wives, and that is a turn-off. Let go of the anger and move on!
What does a woman in her 50s really want from a man
Honesty, romance, communication, fun, kindness, desire, friendship. They want to pick their battles, they don’t play games, they keep their girlfriends and hobbies, they don’t care about money, and they take “I love you” seriously.
Women of all ages want someone honest and kind who has a sense of humor. Women over 50 want a nice and loving partner over someone who is easygoing or down to earth, or athletic or ambitious.
Conclusion
As a piece of helpful advice for the male counterparts, be honest with her and listen. Keep an open mind and heart and let go of your fears.
Finding balance, love, and commitment is part of a mature woman’s mantra. She expects to find the same in her love relationships.
Dating during this decade isn’t always easy, but at least we are in it together.