I was reading a post on one of my Facebook groups the other day, which prompted me to write the present article.
The Facebook group’s name is Over 50 and Loving It. The woman writing the post needed to vent her frustration about being invisible and poorly treated simply because she was/looked older.
This topic is important but also delicate to me because I feel conflicted about it. There is a dilemma between accepting my aging face and body or defeating the pass of time. I believe a lot of women can relate to this approach.
Ageism is real, you all! Particularly for women. I started scrolling down through the comments of other women in that age group (my age group), and there was a clear consensus: if you are over 50, you are invisible.
How could this be? Why? How unfair is this?
The truth is that late adulthood is part of the natural process of life. Aging is not a disease. Our prejudices are revealed when our perceptions of older people are much worse than reality. This is called ageism, a stereotyping of older persons that makes it difficult to see them as they actually are. Says Lingren, “Ageism isolates the older generation socially, and perpetuates our own fear of aging.” Ageism makes judgments about people’s actions, character, and desires based on their age. There is also a sense that old age is inferior to youth. This concept could be particularly damaging for middle-aged women because it contributes to their negative perception of their aging face and body (think of the abuse of Instagram filters, not a trace of wrinkles!). Ageism has developed over many years as our society has put a greater value on youth than on aging.
Western societies equate beauty with youth. Any woman aged 40sh or older is considered old and, therefore, not attractive or desirable.
The idea that women become less beautiful with age exists for the simple fact that women grow more powerful with time, and our culture has difficulty finding power attractive in women. Western culture tells us to be ashamed for our life experiences to show in our faces and bodies. What is so great about looking young anyway? With age, we lose our naiveté, and we become smarter and much better at being confident.
Social media, plastic surgery, and other less invasive beauty treatments do not help with this issue.
When I look at celebrities my age on the red carpet or elsewhere, I always think: “If I had that kind of money would I get surgery, treatments, anti-aging stuff?” and the answer is I probably would.
On the other hand, I think of Demi Moore, Madonna, or Cher, and I change my mind about drastic plastic surgery. They keep chasing the fountain of youth, but at what cost?
Some people handle aging worse than others. I don’t handle it well. I don’t like aging. I don’t like looking at my increasing wrinkles, I don’t like my skin losing elasticity, and I don’t like the loss of muscle mass.
However, that’s what getting old implies, and it’s inevitable. But why do I focus only on the superficial part of aging? I am alive and kicking; I have good health, excellent mobility, and loads of energy. Why would I want to look like a 25-year-old? I was there once, and by the way, I didn’t like me either.
I believe, in my case, there is a direct correlation between these thoughts and self-esteem. I know I am not alone. Society, upbringing, and life circumstances erode women’s self-esteem and that fact has terrible consequences.
So here comes my question:
Should we embrace aging or fight against it?
Obviously, embracing is a much more positive attitude towards aging. Fighting anything implies force, effort, and possibly harmful consequences. In the meantime, plastic surgeries and anti-aging treatments are on the rise big time. The anti-aging industry moves billions of dollars.
Is there something in the middle? Can we embrace and fight aging at the same time? For me, it boils down to going within. Self-awareness and being present are powerful tools within this context.
Like beauty, youthful energy, radiance, and peace come from within. The way we think, the food we put in our bodies, and how we treat ourselves and others are paramount to our inner and outer health. In this blog post, I will focus on what things you can do or changes you should make to create the right mindset to look and feel younger.
So there is a silver lining here: Self-care, self-love, and self-worth can heal you. I practice all three concepts (intertwined in many aspects) daily.
I must admit it took me years, if not decades, to learn how to love myself. I do relapse here and there, but for now, these practices keep me young, energetic, and relevant enough.
Going back to the Facebook post, I don’t feel invisible most of the time or poorly treated; it’s a matter of personal perspective, after all. I think we should consider aging as a gift, a gift for being alive and healthy. Gratitude is fundamental for our mental and physical well-being.
It’s a matter of prioritizing. To me, feeling healthy and happy within is much more important than looking old, that is, looking my age.
Accepting the aging process is crucial to our well-being as women. I don’t care if society says you have to be young to be attractive. I see many older women who take good care of themselves and look very attractive and desirable. We are visible, and we are contributing to society.
Have an acceptance attitude when it comes to the pass of time and never derail from that. Happiness is a personal decision. The outer appearance of a person is the reflection of its inner self. Be mindfully and purposely happy as a spiritual path. Abundance and happiness will come to your life when you can experience them inside you. All experiences, simple or complex, come with a gift. It is up to us to find it.
Age is not what makes a person young or old; attitude is. Attitude is everything. Regardless of how old you are, a negative attitude makes your experience that much worse. Sometimes aging is difficult, but research supports the fact that our attitude reigns supreme in how the negatives impact our lives.
What matters is quality of life and being able to live with a sense of purpose, doing things for yourself, and remaining as independent as possible.
To conclude, we all need to switch perspectives and focus on what we have, and work with it. It is up to each woman to decide whether to draw upon dermatological treatments or plastic surgery or not.
My personal advice, use hair, makeup, and style tips to work with what you have. A bit of lipstick here, and the perfect jeans fit for you there, can work wonders.
