Living your Life to the Fullest
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” –Aristotle
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the main goals of my blog, as women in our fifth decade of life, is to live our best lives. To do so, we need to find peace and open ourselves to happiness. As part of the Finding Life-Purpose series, this blog post will introduce the topic of discovering your True Self as a way to live your most authentic, happy life. I will talk about the subjective concept of happiness, what it means and how to achieve it. I will also provide a list of ways to help you live a life aligned with your true self. It’s an introspective process of self-discovery (one of self-reflection). Like many other processes we need to go through to improve ourselves, it takes time and effort. There are no mistakes in life; everything is a learning experience that helps you know how you can be true to yourself.
If you have read some of my previous posts, you know that I believe in connecting the dots to find balance. When you try so hard to be someone you are not, you lose sight of yourself. You end up doing things to please other people, resulting in living by their expectations. In the end, you become what they want you to be, which can lead anyone down the wrong path. In other words, finding life purpose, practicing self-love and self-care, self-acceptance and authenticity are all interconnected. If we can apply all these elements to our life, we will find the harmony needed to live our lives to the fullest. It is time to take off the mask.
Learning to love yourself and be true to your hopes and dreams is something many of us struggle with. Still, genuinely authentic living is a process that, fortunately, everyone can undergo. Remember that alignment to your true self is already in place; you only need the tools and guides to help you get started and find your way.
What is Happiness?
To define happiness is important to know what is not. Many people consider happiness having fun at a party, the thrill, and passion of sex, or the delights of a fine meal. These are not instances of happiness; these are the definition of pleasure. Happiness is when your life fulfills your needs; when you feel satisfied and fulfilled. It’s a feeling of contentment that life is just as it should be. It’s the experience of joy or positive wellbeing combine with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.
There are three ways psychologists conceive happiness, or rather, there are three levels of happiness:
- Balance between our transient emotions, both positive (joy) and negative (anxiety).
- Our cognitive self-judgment about our life in general, long-term sense. Rational self-reflection
- Focuses on “flourishing” and finding meaning in life. Fulfillment of human potential
This post will focus mainly on the third level of happiness or the importance of finding meaning and purpose in life by discovering the authentic self.
What does it mean to be true to yourself?
Keywords: integrity, beliefs, personal values, honesty, sincerity, principles, being complete, authentic, living by what is and what is not acceptable to you, morals, ethics, honor.
According to Michael Feeley, “Being true to yourself starts with knowing who you are and accepting yourself, knowing your strengths, passions, limitations, and purpose in life and then living that way all the time…being true to yourself is a personal choice for truth…you have the total power to live your life…No one can tell you how to be true to yourself except you.”
When you can make decisions in the here and now based on your feelings, what feels good to you, what lights up your life and brings you the most joy, then you are aligned with your true self. Finding your authentic self means looking for a life filled with satisfying relationships, clarity, and meaning. However, to achieve it, you have to stop thinking about how other people are seeing what you are doing. Says Poppy and Geoff Spencer: “To live an authentic life that aligns with your true self means to let go. Let go of distractions, let go of masks, and let go of comparisons.
The following quote (one of my favorites) by Anais Nin shines some light in terms of the difficulties of finding our authentic self: “She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself.”
Most of us are too concerned with what others think of us. As such, we may disguise or manipulate features of our personality, either to seek approval or avoid disapproval. This masks our true or authentic selves; it’s the core of inauthenticity.
The path to authentic living starts with a choice. Never give up on the things you are passionate about. When you are true to yourself, you are also true to other people. When you know what you want in life and go after it, you are true to yourself. Living in integrity and trusting in self-purpose sets you free.
9 Steps to finding your true self
According to Adam Smith, “To truly know yourself is the most important skill you can ever possess. When you know who you are, you know what you need to do, instead of looking for permission from others to do what you already know you ought to do. It allows you to bypass tons of frustration caused by putting time into the wrong things. Yes, life is supposed to be full of trial and error, but this lets you find the best areas for you to experiment in the first place. Once you know yourself, you will become more confident, you will understand your purpose, and you will begin making a bigger impact on the world.”
Not knowing who you are, you are missing some of the best things about you: what makes you happy, sad, fulfilled, excited, angry, frustrated, scared. Additionally, you are missing what kind of people do you want to be with and are suitable for you or how to bring joy to your life, and so on.
Here are the 9 steps you need to take to get a good start on this journey to finding your true self and valuing that person.
- Be quiet.
It isn’t until you get alone, evaluate yourself, and are completely truthful with yourself that you will be able to see every aspect of your life-the good and the bad.
- Identify who you truly are, not who you want to be.
When you know who you are, you will finally see where you and your specific gifts fit into the bigger picture.
- Realize what positively affects you.
Notice what you are doing or who you are with when you feel good. For example, you may want to be around people who are kind or playful, or you may prefer people who want to continue to grow.
- Know what negatively affects you.
Really negative people can be very emotionally draining to be around. Surrounding yourself with people or events that don’t fit you can quickly drain you and put you in a bad mood. These outcomes indicate what does not fit your true self.
- Find what makes you happy and brings you joy.
Knowing what makes you happy is as important as knowing what doesn’t. You may feel joy helping people in need, or being at the beach, or in touch with nature.
- Find what you are passionate about.
Following passion of any kind is a good thing. Passion in your work or your life. Focus more on passion; passion produces effort, and continuous effort produces results.
- What do you admire about yourself.?
Strengths, talents, values. Feeling good about yourself is different than just being happy. It is a sense of feeling worthy and that you matter. It means you identify something that you do well or makes you feel like a good person inside.
- Recognize the signs of emotionally healthy people.
Emotionally healthy people tend to hang around with other healthy people. Healthy people are usually in a good mood. Recognize those who make healthy choices about food, jobs, and relationships.
- Identify unhealthy people you know.
People tend to choose friends with about the same degree of emotional health as themselves. Assess your relationships; if your friends do not make healthy choices, do you? If the choices you make don’t work for you, make some changes. A significant aspect of knowing yourself can be found in your relationships. Knowing yourself becomes even more apparent when you realize you will never truly know anyone else until you discover yourself.
Conclusion-Putting it all together
Most people often judge themselves harshly. Sometimes parents teach their children not to value themselves. This may mean that you did not receive an accurate picture of your actual worth in your childhood. It’s essential to separate a negative childhood upbringing from your true self.
If you still don’t know who you really are, look at the nine steps above and see what fits you and what doesn’t, which people make you feel good and encourage you to feel good about yourself. If the people around you are not healthy, will you make changes in your choices of friends.?
Knowing your true self is a journey. You will likely continue to change and grow in the future. Don’t be scared to be who you are. The right people around you want you to be happy and healthy.
Use your reflections to fight your biggest fears because when you understand who you are meant to be, your purpose will finally become bigger than your fears. When you know yourself, you will find more peace, and you will find success quicker than ever before. Ladies, I know you can do it! Let me be your inspiration!